So its been awhile since i blogged and i really do like to write things down so i thought it may be time i started again, and since i can not blog now about my weight loss coz im "in the family way", "up the duff" what ever you wanna call it i thought i would blog about that.
I did consider blogging about this earlier but as you will read on about the last 20weeks have not been the easiest and not something that i wanted to share at the time.
We were so ecstatic when we found out we were pregnant, 3 tests it took me to start to believe it and then also a trip to the doctor. I could not describe the feelings here on just how overjoyed we were. We went out for dinner that day as well because we were celebrating Marks new job and then we got to celebrate the miracle of life aswell. I could not keep it a secret so a few friends i contacted who had been really close to me while we were trying to conceive.
Anyway during the course of the next few weeks we had a dating scan which was awesome, we got to see our baby which looked like a smudge... hence the name.. The only thing is I know this nickname is going to stick for sometime past the birth because names like that always do... oh well.. he./she can hate me about that later... but it was your dads fault he came up with it...
But 2 days before that i had my first bleed, it a pertrfying experience. People think because i am a nurse that I know everything about everything medical but i am quickly learning that my knowledge is only as good as the experience that I live through and this is so true for pregnancy, you can think you know what it all encounters but until you experience something first hand can you truly understand it.
I was really scared but was lucky that when we went to our scan bub was dated at 6weeks and 2 days which put us back a week from where we thought we were but we also got to see the tiny and i mean tiny little heartbeat which was the best satisfaction especially after the weekend.
This same weekend included the flu with a mild tonsillitis so was put on some antibiotics which i then ended up having a really bad allergic reaction to them and ended up going to ED as i was really worried about it.
So with that out of the way.. 2 weeks later another bleed I was at work for this one and freaked out lucky enough for an awesome work colleague who packed me up and shipped me straight down to Ed even with the tears in my eyes. The girls there were great and rushed me through.. Luckily enough the Obstetric Reg on call for the Sunday was in the hospital and checked the ED list and saw the ob patient and came and saw me she scanned me and showed me my gorgeous baby and again the little heartbeat.. All good.. and even better no more bleeds from here on in.
The 12 week scan I was so excited I could not hold in the excitment I was just waiting for this scan and then i was annoucing it to the world. We had the scan on the 2nd december and the sonographer said the scan was "FINE" i took that as he saw everything he needed to see and that there was nothing wrong with my baby.So i told the world! LIER LIER PANTS ON FIRE! Kind of..
The next week after some unsettling calls from my now X-GP i went and saw my NUM (manager) at work who is also the NUM ot Maternity with what had happened the night before. She instantly got the obstetrician who had started to look after me...
INSERT.. I forgot to mention that because of my chronic thyroid condition I am actually a high risk pregnancy as I am at high risk of having a baby with IUGR(small baby)..so i fall under the hgih risk clinic at bunbury.
Back to the story... She got hold of my 1st trimester screen and came and sat with me and told me that I had come back at an increased risk of Trisomy 18 also known as Edwards Syndrome. Which is detected is not compatible with life.. Before you get upset please read on.. as this was just a risk factor.. did i just ruin the story..
we met with the senior reg obstetician the next day and she gave us the facts she did a scan which made me happy as bub was jumping up and down on my bladder no wonder i pee alot bub wont need a trampoline when he/she comes out as its already had one.. my bladder.
The next day i got a phone call from a midwife who is a good friend asking me if I was ok.., luckily enough my awesome mother had come down from Perth to be with me as I was upset and Mark was still working so she was there, she wanted to know if I was ok after the fact that at the 12 week scan they saw no nasal bone... NO WHAT? I was really distressed as I was not told this the day before.. it was not stated no nasal bone but inconclusive ... We had been referred the day before to KEMH to have a more detailed scan as globals down here are crap in comparison and +/- an amniocentisis if we needed it.
I went through all the stages of grief I had planned what I was going to do, I had even gone as far as to read the grief and loss brochure from KEMH. It was a horrible 3 weeks of waiting..
we had to wait and wait and wait over christmas aswell which made the festive season really hard. But on the 29th december we had our scan and we got the all clear we saw beautiful pictures of our baby and he/she is all perfect there were no soft signs of edwards syndrome.. so we choose not to have the amnio..
Here i would really like to thank my friends and family who really came around me to support me especially Natalia she was a great support.
I forgot to mention though christmas day i did receive a present from my unborn baby i felt the first flutters it waas awesome just like butterflies like they say, i then would lie down all the time waiting for it to happen again and it did like 6 days later the day after our scan but it wasnt a flutter it was more of a soft kick.
The last 4 weeks have been awesome. My baby now moves every day and is really active even flipping and kicking while i sit here typing this blog.( the longest blog in the history of blogging).
Even at our 20week scan bub was perfect.. well that is except it took 1 1/2hours to get the pics because like all our scans bub did not lay still at all.. i think it the whole 90 minutes we had about 5 where bub was not moving..
So i may have missed the morning sickness boat.. which some consider me lucky.. But i am 50/50 as to whether i would have preferred it that the stress I went through for 10 weeks of my pregnancy. It ok i did get the extremem tiredness and the frequent toileting bits so i did not miss out altogether.. Now i am experiencing all the other changes and absolutely loving it.
I will try to keep you informed as we go on. and i hope that I have not bored you to tears. I am just so excited that i can share this with you.. god bless you as he had blessed me with this wonderful life.
PS there are 2 other people out there who have been a really good support and have prayed for me from the get go and that is Jared and Tenille Murtha. I am really embarrassed that i forgot them wheni wrote this last night, i am sincerely sorry but you guys have been fantastic always just at the other end of the phone and having me over, praying for me and just loving me i really appreciate it. I wouldnt be here without you.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Week 1 12wbt
Ok so week 1 of my 12 week body transformation... so far so good! and i am going to keep being good.
First weight is was only 2 days after commencing the program and will be every wednesday. But this wednesday I was chuffed I had not done any exercise and anyway i LOST 2.5kgs... yipee... i am a realist and now alot of that would be fluid.
Lets see how the program is going.
Food = really yummy.. i will admit i looked at a few things and I was like what with that... huh like strawberries and balsamic vinegar (there is more to the recipe) but yummo...It has been hard as I have had to cut back my portion sizes but I am pretty much back to eating the portions that I use to eat prior to moving in with Mark (sorry honey but i am kinda blaming you but i love you!) and i am sure the occasional nausea will pass.
Nexts weeks food came out and there are some things on there i have again gone what the but I will give it a go and we will go from there.
Exercise = not so good today was really the first day that I did any. I completed my fitness test that I had to do on Monday JUST.. i ran for a minute and then nearly died definately fit into the beginner category. Today did my outdoor circuit... indoors as it was dark and had been for a 20 minute walk and it was freaking hard.. 1 thing i could not do due to my back but did everything else..
HOW I HAVE FELT - Monday inspired, Tuesday oh so sick (nausea, Headaches, lethergy - the most exciting thing i did that day was have a 2 1/2hour nap.), Wednesday headaches, Today not so bad... but my neck is out a little too so it is time for a check in with the physio or my resident back cracker mark!!! yes helen I know..
Anyway just wanted to let you know where i was up to. was a bit flat today did think about old friends including McDonalds and Nandos and came home to mark having Lamb with corn on the cob with butter some of the things that i do love in life but i resisted, i have not had coke nothing but water today and ate the things that i was suppose to no sneaking for ice cream or chocolate (not that i have any chocolate in the house).
Anyway thanks again for your support and I will endeavour to keep you updated at least weekly if not more often i will try to blog when i am having a bad day ro a good one too.
Thanks heres to be skinny at last!
love
Felicity
First weight is was only 2 days after commencing the program and will be every wednesday. But this wednesday I was chuffed I had not done any exercise and anyway i LOST 2.5kgs... yipee... i am a realist and now alot of that would be fluid.
Lets see how the program is going.
Food = really yummy.. i will admit i looked at a few things and I was like what with that... huh like strawberries and balsamic vinegar (there is more to the recipe) but yummo...It has been hard as I have had to cut back my portion sizes but I am pretty much back to eating the portions that I use to eat prior to moving in with Mark (sorry honey but i am kinda blaming you but i love you!) and i am sure the occasional nausea will pass.
Nexts weeks food came out and there are some things on there i have again gone what the but I will give it a go and we will go from there.
Exercise = not so good today was really the first day that I did any. I completed my fitness test that I had to do on Monday JUST.. i ran for a minute and then nearly died definately fit into the beginner category. Today did my outdoor circuit... indoors as it was dark and had been for a 20 minute walk and it was freaking hard.. 1 thing i could not do due to my back but did everything else..
HOW I HAVE FELT - Monday inspired, Tuesday oh so sick (nausea, Headaches, lethergy - the most exciting thing i did that day was have a 2 1/2hour nap.), Wednesday headaches, Today not so bad... but my neck is out a little too so it is time for a check in with the physio or my resident back cracker mark!!! yes helen I know..
Anyway just wanted to let you know where i was up to. was a bit flat today did think about old friends including McDonalds and Nandos and came home to mark having Lamb with corn on the cob with butter some of the things that i do love in life but i resisted, i have not had coke nothing but water today and ate the things that i was suppose to no sneaking for ice cream or chocolate (not that i have any chocolate in the house).
Anyway thanks again for your support and I will endeavour to keep you updated at least weekly if not more often i will try to blog when i am having a bad day ro a good one too.
Thanks heres to be skinny at last!
love
Felicity
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life!
so tomorrow is it, d day, armageddon you know that day that your life changes..
but mine is changing for the better, i have done all the preseason tasks that are required of me to complete this 12 week challenge i have signed up for.
I have made my goals and i have communicated my excuses (i am sure that there will be more). I have even cleared out the cupboard, fridge abd freezer (most likely threw out $30 worth of food at least but if i am going to do this i am going to do this right and i am going to give myself the best chance to suceed at the weight loss..
15kg lighter at Christmas is my 3 month goal. I can do this, no excuses no using bad luck as an out and i know i have the support of some awesome people and you know who you are as i take this amazing journey to get our lives back with some of you and with others for you to love me and support me all the way through.
I thank you in advance for the part you play and i look forward to transforming infront of your eyes.
Here to a successful 12 week body transformation!!
but mine is changing for the better, i have done all the preseason tasks that are required of me to complete this 12 week challenge i have signed up for.
I have made my goals and i have communicated my excuses (i am sure that there will be more). I have even cleared out the cupboard, fridge abd freezer (most likely threw out $30 worth of food at least but if i am going to do this i am going to do this right and i am going to give myself the best chance to suceed at the weight loss..
15kg lighter at Christmas is my 3 month goal. I can do this, no excuses no using bad luck as an out and i know i have the support of some awesome people and you know who you are as i take this amazing journey to get our lives back with some of you and with others for you to love me and support me all the way through.
I thank you in advance for the part you play and i look forward to transforming infront of your eyes.
Here to a successful 12 week body transformation!!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Here we go again
Hi all, well i know it has been a long time since I posted here. I have been in denial about the weight that I need to lose and also have kinda just forgotten all about it - on purpose.
But i have new direction. I have signed up for Michelle Bridges online 12 week body transformation. Here is have had to make committments to myself and her and now i am making a committment to you.
I know i have said this before but I have to do it. I am going to work hard and with this program and the mindset training that is all I am going to need to get myself sorted.
I will post regularly about this and keep you informed on my progress. My goal is to be 15kgs minimum lighter by christmas. so here goes nothing.. Later in the week i will be taking on the hardest challenge and throwing out a heap of high sugary food that are hiding in my pantry, fridge and freezer... that should be fun.. wish me luck..
See i told you I am still going to be the biggest loser...!
But i have new direction. I have signed up for Michelle Bridges online 12 week body transformation. Here is have had to make committments to myself and her and now i am making a committment to you.
I know i have said this before but I have to do it. I am going to work hard and with this program and the mindset training that is all I am going to need to get myself sorted.
I will post regularly about this and keep you informed on my progress. My goal is to be 15kgs minimum lighter by christmas. so here goes nothing.. Later in the week i will be taking on the hardest challenge and throwing out a heap of high sugary food that are hiding in my pantry, fridge and freezer... that should be fun.. wish me luck..
See i told you I am still going to be the biggest loser...!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
im coming back
HI world, it has been awhile since my last blog and a few of you have been on my case.. which I do appreciate.. really i actually do..
As i sit here on night shift witha gorgeous 30 day old baby boy in my arms while his mum has a sleep because this is his party time... Please note it is 1am... I have decided that a come back is what i need to do for me, my future children and the good of the world. Well maybe not the last one but hey it sounded good.
So my priorities have been completely muddled over the last few months I have been hiding in a box of self hatred, loathing the person that i had become.. all over a bad hair cut. I really did go through a bad time it was so much more comfortable with my best friend chocolate and ronald mcdonald was almost on speed dial.. But hey maybe some new direction from a new friend is just what i need.. This new friend is a lady who just tonight I have spend 1 1/2hours talking to about ourselves and now i type here with the baby next to me. Sometimes that encouragement and motivation on a different level is what you need... A new perspective and from here it is a professional one (she has her own PT business).. Now this is not to abolish or down play the great friends that I have had and still have around me constantly encouraging me, one who we were suppose to be losing weight together and this one person who knows who she is, rings me all the time and encourages me beyond belief she is a great friend and i have been a hopeless one back, lost in self pity and selfishness to her i am forever indebted and i do love you lots...
So how am i going to do this... just because i have to.. I have a few goals... a pair of skinny jeans that i want to fit me nicely and also a friends wedding in November.. So there are 2 goals to start. so 10kgs by November is a reasonable goal i believe and is completely do-able and if by November I have lost more then hell yeah!!!!
Monday dooms day its the time to start again.. so here is to a good start next week, back to eating healthy and exercising and new outlook onlife.. less stress more fun and time to live...
So peeps heres not to staying fat and to being the biggest loser... yee hah im pumped.. Kinda - for 2am in the morning.
As i sit here on night shift witha gorgeous 30 day old baby boy in my arms while his mum has a sleep because this is his party time... Please note it is 1am... I have decided that a come back is what i need to do for me, my future children and the good of the world. Well maybe not the last one but hey it sounded good.
So my priorities have been completely muddled over the last few months I have been hiding in a box of self hatred, loathing the person that i had become.. all over a bad hair cut. I really did go through a bad time it was so much more comfortable with my best friend chocolate and ronald mcdonald was almost on speed dial.. But hey maybe some new direction from a new friend is just what i need.. This new friend is a lady who just tonight I have spend 1 1/2hours talking to about ourselves and now i type here with the baby next to me. Sometimes that encouragement and motivation on a different level is what you need... A new perspective and from here it is a professional one (she has her own PT business).. Now this is not to abolish or down play the great friends that I have had and still have around me constantly encouraging me, one who we were suppose to be losing weight together and this one person who knows who she is, rings me all the time and encourages me beyond belief she is a great friend and i have been a hopeless one back, lost in self pity and selfishness to her i am forever indebted and i do love you lots...
So how am i going to do this... just because i have to.. I have a few goals... a pair of skinny jeans that i want to fit me nicely and also a friends wedding in November.. So there are 2 goals to start. so 10kgs by November is a reasonable goal i believe and is completely do-able and if by November I have lost more then hell yeah!!!!
Monday dooms day its the time to start again.. so here is to a good start next week, back to eating healthy and exercising and new outlook onlife.. less stress more fun and time to live...
So peeps heres not to staying fat and to being the biggest loser... yee hah im pumped.. Kinda - for 2am in the morning.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Anyone seen my Wagon!
So i got in trouble my good friend Sonia wooped my butt tonight because i have not posted a blog for weeks and she knew this means i had not being doing what I was suppose to and had fallen off the proverbial wagon. Well its true, it just took that bad luck with the needle stick and the bad haircut to throw a massive spanner in the works. Not only have i been not exercising with the excuse i am so tired but i have also been eating extremely badly. I mean i have been through a few drive throughs in the last few weeks and not just a chicken and chips kinda meal the full hog, hungry jacks mcdonalds all have been blessed with my presents and also with my cash.
So fast food i have paid for you and blessed you with my presence but what have you done for me except for settle my craving for a day and made my hips ever so wider again. I dont know what this obsession is with take away i know they are convenient for me it is like an addiction people are addicted to cigarettes and sometimes i think that would be better atleast i wouldnt be fat and you can get patches for cigarettes????
So it has been tough i have gone back to the gym acouple of time and have attempted to continue to eat healthy but it has not been working But in saying that... i have made the decision that tomorrow is a new day and it is time to start again. ALSO i have a few goals. I have about 3 weeks and i would love to have lost a few kilos for my step daughters birthday party, a personal goal just to make me feel good in the eyes of the opposition....
And then about 27 weeks and a good friend of mine is walking down the aisle and i want to be their smoking hot.. (not too hot dont wanna outdo the bride) but still wanna be smoking. Would love to be able to buy a size 14-16 dress for that wedding that would feel so awesome and anything smaller would be a bonus.
So how am i going to stay on track you ask.. Well for those who may not know i have hidden motivation and it is to be able to prepare myself for children so that i will be able to bear them without having to go down the long road of IVF and stuff like that which i dont really want to do (but will if it is my last resort). that is my biggest goal and just to be skinny which i have not been since i was quite young.
My struggles at the moment FATIGUE ?related to my thyroid who knows, you see for those who dont know I have hypothyroid which slows my metabolism so if that is playing up it is going to make the next few weeks tough but i am having a test done tomorrow so if it is hopefully it will be sorted in the next week which is good.
The other way i am staying on track in Sonia who i mentioned in the beginning she is kicking my butt into shape and i love her so much for her help and her inspiration. And also my mum who is always asking me how i am going what i am doing and helping with suggestions keeping me up to date with the latest fads =-P and changes in research,
Anyway people i think that i have bored you enough with my rambling this time round and hopefully here is to being able to report in a week a great result...
Take care and dont worry i will be the biggest loser.. i will i promise.
Till next time.. take care
So fast food i have paid for you and blessed you with my presence but what have you done for me except for settle my craving for a day and made my hips ever so wider again. I dont know what this obsession is with take away i know they are convenient for me it is like an addiction people are addicted to cigarettes and sometimes i think that would be better atleast i wouldnt be fat and you can get patches for cigarettes????
So it has been tough i have gone back to the gym acouple of time and have attempted to continue to eat healthy but it has not been working But in saying that... i have made the decision that tomorrow is a new day and it is time to start again. ALSO i have a few goals. I have about 3 weeks and i would love to have lost a few kilos for my step daughters birthday party, a personal goal just to make me feel good in the eyes of the opposition....
And then about 27 weeks and a good friend of mine is walking down the aisle and i want to be their smoking hot.. (not too hot dont wanna outdo the bride) but still wanna be smoking. Would love to be able to buy a size 14-16 dress for that wedding that would feel so awesome and anything smaller would be a bonus.
So how am i going to stay on track you ask.. Well for those who may not know i have hidden motivation and it is to be able to prepare myself for children so that i will be able to bear them without having to go down the long road of IVF and stuff like that which i dont really want to do (but will if it is my last resort). that is my biggest goal and just to be skinny which i have not been since i was quite young.
My struggles at the moment FATIGUE ?related to my thyroid who knows, you see for those who dont know I have hypothyroid which slows my metabolism so if that is playing up it is going to make the next few weeks tough but i am having a test done tomorrow so if it is hopefully it will be sorted in the next week which is good.
The other way i am staying on track in Sonia who i mentioned in the beginning she is kicking my butt into shape and i love her so much for her help and her inspiration. And also my mum who is always asking me how i am going what i am doing and helping with suggestions keeping me up to date with the latest fads =-P and changes in research,
Anyway people i think that i have bored you enough with my rambling this time round and hopefully here is to being able to report in a week a great result...
Take care and dont worry i will be the biggest loser.. i will i promise.
Till next time.. take care
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Fricker Fricker Fricker
So I have had a good week full of its challenges.. but the end was not so good. it started with a really bad cold. with 2 days in bed and a headache and lots of snots. This lead to bad eating as i was exhausted, me being me made myself go back to work which made me feel worse but i got through. Finally made it back to the gym on Saturday after Mark left me to go on a trip to Perth on the friday night as his parents were moving house and he is still up there hopefully making it home before midnight tonight. Saturday i over did it with 30 min WII and 1 hour gym and a walk to drop a video off i was so sore by the night time. BUt i spent a solo girly night where i bummed on the couch and watched a movie. Which was great. Sunday.. opps bugger damn way too sore so gave myself a rest but what can you do, back to healthy eating and i just need to get my water levels back up to where they were.
I dont normally do too well on my own well actually i have never really be home on my own but i have survived quite well sometimes it is nice to spend some time with yourself. as much as i miss mark it makes you love them and really appreciate how much that someone special means in your life.... especially when another huntsman comes out to say hello.. squashed- another one to felicity.
BUt today my life from my perspective turned into a nightmare... Needle stick injury at work.... never a good thing. Lucky for me she was a sweet old lady who seemed like a very respectful person and said she was unaware of any blood borne viruses which is great so all should be good. For those who dont know what i mean i stabbed myself with a needle after it had been inside someone elses skin... this can be really bad for nurses... risk of HIV, hepatitis etc etc and it means a long wait with lots of blood tests over a 12 month period and it can put your life on hold.
So this controls your life for awhile and can be a really stressful waiting game. I was stressed out enough just today thinking my life was over and she was very unlikely to be passing anything onto me at all anyway. However it is amazing how something like this can just upset you, i cried (still crying at times), i got angry at myself not the patient and i got depressive and this was reflected in how i have treated myself today.. hungry jacks and chocolate.. chocolate which is till sitting next to me as i type this... its ok though a bag of MMs which would normally be polished mostly off is still over half full, chocolate these days leaves a weird film/taste in my mouths so one day i dont think that i will actually crave this high calorie food... which will be great. Small steps small steps.
So i sit here typing to you still pulling my hair out waiting for Mark to get home as i just want a hug and not from my dog who is cleverly positioned between my legs with her head on my thigh looking up at me asking for my dinner of vegetables.. she would eat anything, i tell you. You know when something bads happens when you want your boyfriend or your mum and it sucks because they are both 200kms away.. not so good for the emotions or the eating.
Sorry this is a long one..
The worst thing about this alot of the time these things are done because of something little and something stupid that we have done to ourselves. Just from a minor misjudgement your whole life can be in the balance... and you know what annoys me more than any of this the government want us to justify why we are worth more than $55000 per year after being out for three years.... its ridiculous but they will approve a million dollar upgrade to parliament without the proposal even being finished... We have been waiting for the agreement with the government to come through since July last year but the governement of Western Australia are a bunch of f$%# wits who should all get the sack.. ill run the government for $90000 a year theres my proposal that would save the government $100000's of dollars a year..
So i also had the worst hair cut ever on saturday and this statement is not to offend the same sex lovers out there but i look like a lesbian it is like so short with some long strands just hanging down. Not going back to that idiot again. First time great, second time crap third time completely shit house.. foole me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me, where did you get your hairdressing qualification was this when they handed them out free in the cornflakes boxes..
Anyway something again to make you feel good leaves you embarrassed and not feeling so good about yourself.
So As it goes I have literally while typing this found out mark was heading home however he was towing a car trailer behind him and at high speeds this was causing him to nearly go sideways with the car on the trailor so he nearly wasnt going to make home with a flipped car on the Mitchell Fwy.. thats just great. So he now has to go back and drop the car off the trailer and then head home so he is still atleast 2 hours away.. i am dieing for a hug right now..
In all of this though i have still come up on top, i lost 1.2kg from wednesday to Monday which is great. I had put a little weight on when i was sick from no exercise and bad eating but with some small modifications i have come out on top which i am happy with. So hopefully today wont throw me too much either, because besides playing with the dog at the beach i have done no exercise at all too upset. But on another good note i had lost 2cm from my waist and 2-3 cm off each thigh which i am really happy about and especially since i was feeling bloated the other day when my trainer pulled me aside and said lets do your measurements so i can still be happy with that, especially with my set backs.
But i am really ready to be skinny watching the Biggest Loser transformations i am ready be sexy and little the crying was the give away.
So sorry for the length congratulations if you made it to the end, have faith because with your support i am still going to be THE BIGGEST LOSER!
Till next time live life to the full....!
I dont normally do too well on my own well actually i have never really be home on my own but i have survived quite well sometimes it is nice to spend some time with yourself. as much as i miss mark it makes you love them and really appreciate how much that someone special means in your life.... especially when another huntsman comes out to say hello.. squashed- another one to felicity.
BUt today my life from my perspective turned into a nightmare... Needle stick injury at work.... never a good thing. Lucky for me she was a sweet old lady who seemed like a very respectful person and said she was unaware of any blood borne viruses which is great so all should be good. For those who dont know what i mean i stabbed myself with a needle after it had been inside someone elses skin... this can be really bad for nurses... risk of HIV, hepatitis etc etc and it means a long wait with lots of blood tests over a 12 month period and it can put your life on hold.
So this controls your life for awhile and can be a really stressful waiting game. I was stressed out enough just today thinking my life was over and she was very unlikely to be passing anything onto me at all anyway. However it is amazing how something like this can just upset you, i cried (still crying at times), i got angry at myself not the patient and i got depressive and this was reflected in how i have treated myself today.. hungry jacks and chocolate.. chocolate which is till sitting next to me as i type this... its ok though a bag of MMs which would normally be polished mostly off is still over half full, chocolate these days leaves a weird film/taste in my mouths so one day i dont think that i will actually crave this high calorie food... which will be great. Small steps small steps.
So i sit here typing to you still pulling my hair out waiting for Mark to get home as i just want a hug and not from my dog who is cleverly positioned between my legs with her head on my thigh looking up at me asking for my dinner of vegetables.. she would eat anything, i tell you. You know when something bads happens when you want your boyfriend or your mum and it sucks because they are both 200kms away.. not so good for the emotions or the eating.
Sorry this is a long one..
The worst thing about this alot of the time these things are done because of something little and something stupid that we have done to ourselves. Just from a minor misjudgement your whole life can be in the balance... and you know what annoys me more than any of this the government want us to justify why we are worth more than $55000 per year after being out for three years.... its ridiculous but they will approve a million dollar upgrade to parliament without the proposal even being finished... We have been waiting for the agreement with the government to come through since July last year but the governement of Western Australia are a bunch of f$%# wits who should all get the sack.. ill run the government for $90000 a year theres my proposal that would save the government $100000's of dollars a year..
So i also had the worst hair cut ever on saturday and this statement is not to offend the same sex lovers out there but i look like a lesbian it is like so short with some long strands just hanging down. Not going back to that idiot again. First time great, second time crap third time completely shit house.. foole me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me, where did you get your hairdressing qualification was this when they handed them out free in the cornflakes boxes..
Anyway something again to make you feel good leaves you embarrassed and not feeling so good about yourself.
So As it goes I have literally while typing this found out mark was heading home however he was towing a car trailer behind him and at high speeds this was causing him to nearly go sideways with the car on the trailor so he nearly wasnt going to make home with a flipped car on the Mitchell Fwy.. thats just great. So he now has to go back and drop the car off the trailer and then head home so he is still atleast 2 hours away.. i am dieing for a hug right now..
In all of this though i have still come up on top, i lost 1.2kg from wednesday to Monday which is great. I had put a little weight on when i was sick from no exercise and bad eating but with some small modifications i have come out on top which i am happy with. So hopefully today wont throw me too much either, because besides playing with the dog at the beach i have done no exercise at all too upset. But on another good note i had lost 2cm from my waist and 2-3 cm off each thigh which i am really happy about and especially since i was feeling bloated the other day when my trainer pulled me aside and said lets do your measurements so i can still be happy with that, especially with my set backs.
But i am really ready to be skinny watching the Biggest Loser transformations i am ready be sexy and little the crying was the give away.
So sorry for the length congratulations if you made it to the end, have faith because with your support i am still going to be THE BIGGEST LOSER!
Till next time live life to the full....!
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